As I do my chores thoughout the day,
He's by my side, every step of the way.
When I stop to eat, you can bet he's there,
sitting of course, in his favorite chair.

And if some night I decide to go out.
He'll hang his head, and kinda pout.
He sits by the window, until I come home.

Sits there and waits so patiently.
Hoping to catch a glimpse of me,
can't wait till I put the key in the door.
He's barking and jumping, and barking some more.

Then as I lay me down to sleep.
He's there by my side, his vigil to keep.
And I thank the Lord, in the heaven above.
For My Best Friend, my dog, and his love!

Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner or
anything else for that matter.

When it's raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.

If it itches, you can reach it.

And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in public.

It doesn't bother you if your favorite television show is a
rerun.
You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you're insensitive.

April 15 means nothing to you.

People at drive-through windows never charge you for treats.

Your friends don't think less of you for passing gas.

A rawhide bone can entertain you for hours.

No one gets mad if you fall asleep while they're talking.

As an adult, it's OK if you haven't "amounted to anything"
except being a dog.

The older you get, the more people respect you.

You can sleep late every day.

If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.

You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's
lap.

There's no such thing as bad food.

You don't have to worry about good table manners.

Someone else combs your hair.

People think you're normal if you stick your head out the
window to feel the wind in your hair.

You're always excited to see the same old people.

Having big feet is considered an asset.

If you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.

Everything smells good to you.

A garbage can is a fast-food stop.

No one tells you to wipe your nose because it's wet.

No matter where you live, you own the place.

Your mate never complains because you whine.

Puppy love can last.

Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down, and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)

Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. When the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.

Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.

Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk, always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.

Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your human is panic-stricken and close to tears).

When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.

Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, so this will drive them nuts!)